conflicting hearts of mine.

You touched and loved me

And i peeled your fingers off of me,

I feel your touch,

I feel your love,

And yet i want nothing but.

Then i sit alone at night and

I crave you,

Or anyone,

To love

But still i push and shove you away.

I do not care for your name nor your body,

I want only your love;

I want your hands on mine,

I want your heart on mine.

But not for too long,

Because your heart it heavy;

And it will crush and suffocate my lungs,

Forgetting how to breathe

I reach to the surface and spit you out yet again.

But next time,

I want to know how long i can hold my breath.


i need space.

i need space to let my thoughts swim,

so i don’t feel so trapped in the embrace of life.


because it holds tight,

it’s almost suffocating.

and it illuminates;

that blinding bright light.


so i close my eyes.


i close my eyes to the bright light.

i close my eyes to life.

but even through my eyelids,

it pierces through.

tearing my space apart.


and without space i have no room to breath.

although sometimes i don’t want to,

i need to breath.